Always Go Back For the Girl

Some time ago, I was introduced to Mark Gungor and his "Laugh Your Way To a Better Marriage". The series, available for purchase on DVD, is hosted by Christian pastor Mark Gungor and focuses mostly on the God-given differences between men and women, the difficulties these differences can cause, and how to turn these differences into the advantage God intended them to be.

One of the fun side-tracks Mark takes the audience down is about movie preferences between men and women. Obviously this is a huge generalization (one that Mark readily acknowledges), but women tend to lean towards the romantic comedies and dramas where inter-personal relationships are tested and stretched. Men, on the other hand, are generally inclined to enjoy the action and adventure movies where men are men and things blow up with some level of regularity.

Where these two genres of stories merge usually occurs near the climax of the story when the mission seems like it might just get pulled off (in the action flick) or the guy realizes the only thing he really needs in his life is her (in the case of the rom-com). It usually goes something like this:

The Hero stops running toward the objective, places his fists on his hips, puffs out his chest, and exclaims, "Fellas! You all go on without me. I've got something I gotta do."

He then turns around and goes back for the girl. It doesn't matter if you're watching rom-com or action or adventure or drama or whatever, a recurring theme in so much storytelling is this idea of "always go back for the girl."

Why is that?

I think it speaks the the God-given desire in men and women to pursue and be pursued. We want to matter. We want to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. That idea, by its very nature, demands relationship. I'm no psychologist or educated humanist, but I see the evidence of this every day in my own life. And while I also acknowledge that my own perspective is a massive generalization, I still believe there's something to this.

For me, the call is to simply make sure that I personally always go back for the girl. The "girl" in this case is my lovely bride. Beth is truly my other half. She keeps me on track and focused in a way that no other human can. While I'm laser-focused on a specific task, Beth will bring me back into the big-picture view. In her mind, everything is connected to everything else. Nothing happens in a vacuum. Because I know this, her reminders about things that need to be done do not come across as nagging, but instead as gentle reminders. It empowers us to raise up our family well.

This laser focus that I tend to have can lead to me forgetting about the big picture, and even her. So for me, "always go back for the girl" is a key part of our marriage. In everything I do, I can't forget about the love of my life. She's a true gift and blessing to me, our children, our extended family and our friends. It's where the rubber hits the road and the strongest bonds of our relationship are forged in fire.

Men, today is Valentines Day. I hope you have something special planned for the lady in your life, truly. But don't make it a one-day-a-year deal. Go get your girl now, show her through action that she's more important than any other mission or goal you have. She is the mission. At the end of your life, you employer won't be there. Your kids will move out and start families of their own. Friends will come and go. The only person in your life who you might be able to count on to be there through the end is your wife.

But only if you always go back for the girl.